All The Hype

This was the week of decisions

My two week fasted ended on Monday, and I came out of it with God’s clear decision for my outreach destination. I was peaceful about it until they started talking about the things that we were going to do on outreach. The place I hadn’t decided on was the one that fit my personality and my challenging nature, so I second guessed the decision that God had told me. And so I came back to Him and asked if that was truly the destination He wanted me at and then the following conversation ensued:

“God, where should I go? I know what you told me but I am built for the other destination.”

“Yeah, you’re right. You’re made for a life of adventure, challenges and intensity, but the time for that hasn’t come yet. Go to Fiji.”

“Ok, God!!”

So I’m going to Fiji and Samoa, endofstory.

This week we learned about missions and evangelism… AWESOME! I have learned so much and I feel way more prepared for outreach, it’s exciting. On Friday morning we spent some time in prayer and asked God to reveal to us some of His lost children so that we can seek them out during our afternoon street evangelism in Matamata. My partner, Josh, and I didn’t find the person we both saw during prayer, but we got the opportunity to pray for an elderly woman and then talk to some 17 year old kiwi’s about their religious beliefs and opinions about God. Then on Friday night we went to THOP (Tauranga House of Prayer, the NZ version of IHOP) for some worship and during that I felt God asking me to go outside to talk with Him alone. As I did this, I became more aware of a heavyhearted feeling that I’ve had for a significant amount of time and figured that this was why we needed to talk; and it was. I started talking with Him about it and then suddenly I felt really angry and frustrated at Him and was just really blunt about what I was feeling, then I got really sad and started sobbing because I felt so heartbroken and realized that I had covered my heartbrokenness with bitterness and anger toward God. While I was sitting there crying, I felt Him wrap His arms around me and share in my brokenness. He told me that He knows how hard it is to deal with and that I don’t need to worry about the reason it happened, just that He is going to bring good out of it, that He is a good God and that I need to trust him fully with the future. Once I calmed down, I apologized for my anger and resentment toward Him and then the heaviness and burden lifted off of me and I could breathe deeply for the first time in a long time. Chicka-yeah!

“An ordinary woman, she serves an extraordinary God. In her moments of greatest weakness, God reveals Himself through her. She has chosen to allow God to use the broken pieces of her life to create something beautiful. She is a pillar of strength, a woman whose faith remains unshaken in the face of change. The Holy Spirit whispers, “Speak what you see.”

I see beauty.

She leans against her Savior, and she finds grace. Knowing that only God can sustain her, she stands in the face of fear and resolves not to give up. She recognizes that the things of God are the only things that matter. Seeking after the things of Christ, she lives a life of integrity. She is a fighter, a survivor, a woman of strength. She is beauty.” – Regina Franklin, ‘Who Calls Me Beautiful?’

By the way, Five Iron Frenzy played in Matamata, NZ in 1999. WHHATTTTT?!?!?!?!